beanling: pyrates: my headcanon is that dave has really nice legs and john tricks him into shaving them he tells dave he’ll give him twenty bucks and then doesn’t and it’s fucking summer in texas (john is staying with dave) so dave ends up having to wear shorts anyway and he’s walking around the apartment with these smooth shiny legs and bro sees it and laughs his ass off
“you’re still beautiful to me,” i say to my graphic with 3 notes.
Me: so you know Guy Fieri?
Me: he was just made into a character in homestuck. a villian. he was responsible for the murder of 5 billion people and was considered the third and final antichrist, in league with the Betty Crocker Corporation and ICP.
Dad: It turns out, most of those things are true
ophiuchustroll: can hussie rename the merch store to WHAT FUCKING PUMPKIN. THERE IS NO PUMPKIN. ONCE AGAIN, THERE IS NOTHING AT ALL IN YOUR CELL, USEFUL OR oh god dammit